Five times Yuuri sold Victor a plant and the one time he didn't
by Purecinnamonbun
Summary: In which Victor tries his hardest to make Yuuri notice him, but Yuuri is so oblivious he thinks that Victor just wants to buy plants. A lot of plants.
1. Chapter 1

**That time is here again ladies and gentleman, for yet another Victuuri fluff fest! Comments are appreciated!- Purecinnamonbun**

 **1**

Yuuri hummed to himself as he wiped down the counter, picking up plants to clean beneath them, and then putting them back down again.

"Yuuri, I'm heading upstairs to start cooking!" Phichit called from the back room.

"Okay!" Yuuri called back, smiling. The store would be closed soon, and he and Phichit would have their weekly movie night. This time it was Phichit's pick, and he'd decided that they should rewatch the King and the Skater.

Because it's not like they'd done that a million times already.

Listening to Phichit run up the stairs two at a time to their apartment above the shop, Yuuri put his rag away, and started walking over to the door to lock it.

Just in time to be hit in the face when it came flying open.

Yuuri landed sprawled, clutching his nose. As he raised his head to see what had caused his abrupt reunion with the floor, his breath caught in his throat.

Thinking about it, being on the floor wasn't so bad. It was easier than getting up and talking to the Most Beautiful Man In The World (Yuuri had already trademarked it, as he was sure that visions of this man would be filling his head for weeks.)

"I'm so sorry I- Whoah." Beautiful Man stopped his speech and stared at Yuuri.

Yuuri felt uncomfortable, and began to stand up, when the Most Beautiful Man In The World suddenly snapped out of it, and rushed over to help Yuuri, throwing apologies out left and right.

Yuuri's brain was still unable to function, so he just looked at him dumbly and then walked over to the counter.

"S'alright." Yuuri managed, his voice cracking slightly because damn "What do you need?"

"Have you got any recommendations for house plants? I've wanted to brighten up my living space a bit lately. Oh, and it can't be toxic for dogs. I have my little Makkachin to look after."

"Erm, yes. Okay. I'll just, er, get you one right now."

Yuuri tried to ignore the fact that Beautiful Man was staring at him intensely. He probably had something on his face again. Maybe that was fate's way of telling him that he shouldn't have had that bowl of Katsudon last night.

Mentally berating himself for standing still too long, Yuuri reached over, and put down a simple Orchid.

"Here. It's non-toxic for dogs. Water it often, but try not to get any water on the leaves."

"Thanks!"

Yuuri expected the man to pay, take his plant, and leave. But even after placing his money on the counter, Beautiful Man just stood there. Smiling at Yuuri.

After ten seconds passed of them just staring at each other, Yuuri decided that if this continued, he'd spontaneously combust. Phichit would find his smouldering ruins, and his gravestone would say ' _Cause of death- being stared at by an attractive man.'_

"I'm Yuuri." Yuuri told the man, proud of his ability to not stutter gormlessly.

Beautiful Man smiled (Was his smile in the shape of an actual _heart_?)

"Nice to meet you Yuuri! My name is Victor, but you can call me Vitya, 'kay?"

"I think I'll stick with Victor." Yuuri muttered under his breath.

After another ten seconds of weirdly staring at each other, Victor ruffled Yuuri's hair ( _what?)_ and left.

Yuuri was left standing there like an idiot, only to be interrupted by Phichit shaking his shoulders.

"That time I didn't even have to force you to talk to a potential Mr Katsuki! Great job, Yuuri!"

"Wait, what?" Yuuri blinked at Phichit "N-no. he's just a customer. Who I stared at. Because um…ah.. Plants?"

"Plants. Really Yuuri? Even I can come up with a better excuse on the spot than you. Anyway, it's time you got a date! Your last one was years ago! Why did you dump Minami, anyway?" 

"Months, Phichit. And Minami wanted me to choose between him and Katsudon." Yuuri paused momentarily, staring off into the distance. "I think about him sometimes when I eat Katsudon."

"But Yuuuuuuuriiiiiiiiiii!"

"No Phichit, I'm not asking Victor out on a date. Now will you just leave me alone!"

"Urgh, fiiiiiiiiiineeeee. But don't blame me if you die alone because you never spoke to anyone. But to make it up to me, you have to make the popcorn tonight."

"Make _what_ up to you? And we don't even have any popcorn!"

"Then you'd better use those pretty little legs and jog on down to the corner shop to get some, shouldn't you?"

"Phichiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"

Victor leaned back with a flourish in his fluorescent pink convertible, chattering into his phone, a huge smile taking over his face.

"Chris! I found that boy from the party a few months ago!"

"Finally. You've only called me about him four times these past three days. I was beginning to think you forgot about him." Chris said back in a sarcastic monotone.

"Ha ha Chris. On a completely unrelated note, how would you feel about having a few free plants sent over to you?"

"Why?" Chris sounded suspicious.

"No reason. I just feel like I'll end up with a surplus of them over the next few days."

 **First chapter finished! Fun fact, the title for this was actually going to be  
** _ **'Five times Yuuri was a complete and utter idiot and didn't realise that Victor was blatantly hitting on him, plus the one time he wasn't a completely oblivious numbskull'.**_

 **I decided it was too long though.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 is up already! I think I like this AU too much- I've got other things I should really be doing. Comments are appreciated!-Purecinnamonbun**

 **2**

"Ah….Georgi….Please calm down."

Yuuri stood awkwardly behind the counter, desperately attempting to use it as some kind of shield for the mental breakdown that was currently taking place. A full grown man had come in to buy a plant (as he did fairly regularly for his girlfriends, Yuuri was well acquainted with Georgi), had seen a yellow carnation, and immediately started bawling.

"But A-ah-nyaaaaaaaaaaa. She a-a-always gave me yellow carnations whenever I s-aaa-haw her." 

As Georgi cried on and on about his latest failed relationship with his girlfriend, Yuuri wondered if perhaps Anya knew the meaning of the yellow carnation, when Georgi, obviously, did not.

It meant rejection.

Yuuri shifted his weight from each foot as he waited for Georgi to close his floodgates of tears. He had been through many of these outbreaks ( _why_ couldn't Georgi go to another store? Every time he turned up with another soon-to-be-ex, Yuuri was reminded of how pathetically alone he was.)

Despite the fact that he had suffered this many times, Yuuri still did not know particularly how to act around Georgi. Once, in a weak attempt to cheer him up, Yuuri had suggested that maybe there were more fish in the sea.

He had been subjected to a two hour monologue about true love, during which Georgi posed with roses, stood on chairs, and shouted for all the world to hear.

The world did not hear, but apparently the customers of Yuuri's shop did, since they had entered, stared at the possibly psychopathic man standing on a chair and holding a rose aloft, and promptly backed out of the store.

Yuuri wished he had half the sense they did, and left before Georgi opened his mouth.

Georgi even finished off his speech with a rendition of 'Agony' from Into The Woods.

Even with the ripping shirt bit.

Except Georgi's shirt was higher quality than in the musical, so Georgi just stood pathetically tugging at his shirt for a minute, before picking up Yuuri's plant shears, and cutting it open.

At this point Phichit had returned from his break, seen Yuuri's panicked face, and not-so-gently shoved Georgi out of the door, locking it behind him, and turning over the 'closed' sign.

Yuuri was attempting to send Phichit telepathic messages now, but apparently he did not have powers, since Phichit remained absent, and Georgi remained crying.

And fate decided to play an even bigger prank on Yuuri, since at that precise moment, the door swung open, and in stepped Victor.

Deciding to ignore Georgi for the time being, Yuuri turned to Victor, trying not to stutter.

"H-hello Victor. Weren't you just here yesterday? Is there a problem with your orchid?"

" _Yuuuuuuuuuuriiiiiiiii!_ You remembered!"

 _Well, you are pretty memorable_ Yuuri thought. But on the outside, he opted to stay silent.

"I'm actually here today for another plant!"

"Are you now." Yuuri said weakly, more of a statement than a question.

"Yup!" Victor smiled widely, and Yuuri tried not to swoon because _wow_ he was sure that smile could take down a twenty foot man it was so heart shaped and genuine and-

"How about this one?"

Yuuri jumped before realising that while he was zoned out, Victor had somehow made his way to the other side of the store, and was now examining a plant.

"That's Lucky Bamboo" Yuuri said, leaning over the counter. He noticed Victor staring at him, and hastily stood up again "It's supposed to bring good luck and fortune."

"I could really use some of that." Victor said, looking at it. "Okay! I'll get this one!"

"A-are you sur-"

"Uh-huh!"

Yuuri wordlessly nodded, and Victor carried the leafy plant over to the counter, setting it down with a _thunk._

Victor held out his hand with the right amount of money in it, but just as Yuuri was about to take the money and withdraw his hand, it was grabbed.

By Victor.

Victor was holding his hand.

Was this how people spontaneously combusted?

"So, _Yuuri_." Victor's voice coming out in a gentle purr "Is there any chance that I could possible get your number?"

Oh, _that's what he wanted._

Yuuri pulled his hand out of Victor's (his hand immediately felt cold), and pulled a sticky note off the pack, scribbling numbers down on it, and then handing it to Victor.

"Here."

Victor pocketed the number with a warm smile, and grabbed Yuuri in a hug over the counter.

Yuuri froze, and ended up just patting Victor very awkwardly on the back with one hand, the other hanging limply by his side, too frazzled to even attempt to return the hug.

Eventually, Victor let go, ruffled Yuuri's hair (what was it with the _hair_ ruffling), picked up his plant and left, waving a hand.

Yuuri stared after him for a full minute, before a voice piped up sadly

"Anya used to give me hugs."

Yuuri promptly fell backwards in his surprise, and as his behind met the floor, he remembered that Georgi was still in the store.

 _He saw that whole exchange._

"At least he can call you now that he has your number," Georgi said, staring off at a Peace Lily as if it held all the secrets of the universe "….Anya used to call me too."

A few seconds when by before George's words sunk in, and Yuuri screeched "WAIT, HE WANTED _MY_ NUMBER?"

Chris surveyed what looked like potted asparagus, and what Victor claimed was 'Lucky Bamboo'.

It just looked like green stalks.

 _Where was he supposed to put this thing?_

Sighing, he picked up his phone, which magically started ringing, Victor's name flashing up on the screen.

"Hey Victor, can you take your asparagus- I mean Lucky Bamboo back becau-"

"HE GAVE ME THE STORE NUMBER!" Victor screeched on the other side of the phone.

Chris blinked, and held the phone away from his ear (Victor's shouts still going).

He then slowly, and decisively, pressed 'End Call'.

 **I don't have a beta, so if I've made any mistakes, feel free to point them out.**


	3. Chapter 3

***Brushes off hands* Another chapter done and dusted! Only two more chapters to go after this (and maybe an epilogue if I really can't let this AU go). Comments are appreciated!- Purecinnamonbun**

 **4**

Yuuri buried his face in his hands, ignoring the King and the Skater that was playing _yet again_ in the background (did Phichit know that other movies existed?)

"He came for the _fourteenth_ time today, Phichit! In two weeks! I can't handle seeing him this much! I'm going to explode!"

"You won't explode." Phichit said calmly, looking oddly like a mob boss as he stroked his pile of hamsters

Yuuri stared morosely off into the distance.

"Maybe I should become a hermit in the mountains, and die alone."

"Yuuri, it's my solemn _duty_ to get you a boyfriend. If you undo all my hard work by running off into the mountains, I will hunt you down, and I will get my hamsters to attack you."

Yuuri shuddered at the thought.

It had happened before.

 _So many tiny claws._

"Fine." Yuuri muttered, stuffing some popcorn in his mouth.

"Just take a few hours off tomorrow. Go skating or something. That always makes you feel better."

Yuuri visibly brightened, then sagged back down again.

"But then I won't be able to see Victor." 

Phichit snorted.

"Somehow, I think he'll find a way."

When Yuuri looked up at him questioningly, he just laughed, and went to refill the popcorn.

"I'm leaving!" Yuuri called, waving back to Phichit as he left the store, skates in hand. "I'll be back in a few hours! Tell me if Victor shows up, okay!"

Phichit waved frantically back, even making the hamster perched on his shoulder pretend to wave too.

Then Phichit turned and walked back into the shop, carefully weighing up his choices. It seemed it was time for him to step in- at least a little bit.

Phichit spent the next few hours unpacking their plant deliveries, repotting several plants, and scrubbing their pots clean until they practically shone. Then he opened up the shop, sat on the stool behind the counter, and stroked his hamster while he waited.

He wanted to create the aura of a mob boss, as Yuuri had told him he projected several times before.

Soon enough, the door flew open, and in swept Victor dramatically, a smile adorning his face.

"Hello, Yuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrriii-"

Victor stopped and glanced around the shop, his gaze finally landing on Phichit.

"Where's Yuuri?"

"He's taking a few hours off today. But I can sell you a plant if you want one."

"When will Yuuri be back?"

"Dunno. You can wait for him if you want."

Victor immediately took a seat by a shelf of plants, folding his arms, and leaning against the wall.

Good. He was here for Yuuri then.

Phichit checked one box off the ' _Victor Nikiforov should be allowed to date the pure cinnamon roll that is Yuuri Katsuki_ ' list.

He had it all on a clipboard and everything, the title in fancy calligraphy.

But the fact that he was willing to wait for Yuuri wasn't enough in Phichit's books. The man had to be questioned a little bit first.

"So." Phichit broke the silence "What exactly are your intentions with Yuuri?"

Victor's face turned beet red, and he stared at the floor.

"Marry him?"

Another box was checked off the list.

"Wait." Victor's head snapped up to look at Phichit "You aren't dating him, are you?"

Phichit laughed.

"Yuuri's my best friend. I have my eye on Seung Gil who works in the pet shop down the street."

Phichit ticked off another box for that question though, then surveyed his list.

He'd done the best out of all the other guys Phichit had questioned before him, that was true. Some of them had run out of the door crying. Phichit had concluded that they were weak, and therefore not good enough for Yuuri.

So far, Victor had lived up to all his requirements though.

Just one more thing, then Victor would have Phichit's blessing.

Phichit leaned forward on the desk, cupping his face with his hands, smirking evilly.

"Are you aware that I am Yuuri's official Best Friend?"

Victor blinked then nodded.

"Then you should also be aware that if you hurt Yuuri, I will personally hunt you down, and kill you slowly and painfully. They'll never find the body."

Victor visibly gulped, then told Phichit

"I don't care, I want to marry Yuuri anyway."

Phichit's smile was immediately back on his face, and he quickly hopped over the desk, and pumped Victor's hand up and down, before taking his hamster and placing it on Victor's head in a seal of approval.

"Welcome to the family! Yuuri is probably going to confess his feelings to you in a few days anyway, so don't worry about that. He should be back in a few minutes. Oh!" Phichit glanced over at the door. "I should go and make my daily visit to Seung Gil."

And with that, Phichit practically disappeared from the shop in a flurry of hamsters, leaving Victor alone, dumbfounded, and with a hamster perched on his head.

Soon enough, Yuuri returned to the shop, stretching, his ice skates hanging by his sides. That was _just_ what the doctor ordered. He was about to walk inside, when he noticed Victor sitting on the counter, smiling at him.

Yuuri closed the door, accepted his fate, opened it again, and stepped in.

To be met by Victor's hugs.

"Yuuuriii! I need another plant!"

"Sure, sure."

Yuuri hid the blush staining his cheeks with his skates, before he stretched up, and unhooked a Spider Plant from the ceiling.

"These are relatively easy to take care of, and look," Yuuri ran his finger along a stem that smaller spider plants were growing off of. "They even have babies."

"What a coincidence! That's just what I want to do with you!"

Yuuri glanced at Victor, sure he hadn't heard that correctly.

" _What?"_

"What?" Victor replied innocently.

Yuuri must have misheard.

He gave the plant to Victor, who paid, and then, as fast as lightning, pressed a quick kiss to Yuuri's cheek ( _extremely_ close to his mouth), then strolled out of the door, Spider Plant by his side, leaving Yuuri touching his cheek and blushing.

He was immediately distracted when a blond teen stomped into the shop.

"Oi, Katsudon. You got any Cattails?"

Victor lay curled up in a ball in his apartment, screaming into a pillow in his excitement. He'd kissed Yuuri! Well, not properly, but close! And he'd even got a blessing to date Yuuri!

Victor dialled a familiar number.

"Hello?" Chris' unimpressed voice came from the other side of the line.

"Chris! I got a blessing! And almost kissed Yuuri!"

"My room is starting to resemble a greenhouse, Victor. Now I've even got a Spider Plant hanging from the ceiling."

"I always knew you had a green thumb, Chris."

Victor could practically hear Chris' rage through the phone.

"Take them back! ESPECIALLY YOUR GODDAM ASPARAGUS!"

The line went dead.

Victor let out a long-suffering sigh.

 _Touchy._

 **I wrote this chapter in just under an hour, and I am proud of myself. I also may be a bit obsessed with Chris' 'Asparagus' AKA Lucky Bamboo.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I should really be updating Prince Of The Waves, but when I tried to write a new chapter, my brain was like NO, so you've ended up with this instead. Comments are appreciated!-Purecinnaminbun**

 **4**

Three months.

It had been _three months._

Victor had been at the store _every day_ since his third visit, apart from Sundays when the store was closed.

The problem was, the more time Yuuri spent around Victor, the more he started to _notice things._

Like Victor's laugh whenever Yuuri shyly made a joke, Victor's ever-bubbling personality, the way Victor would lean poised on the counter like-

Okay, Yuuri needed to _stop._

 _He was reaching Georgi level._

 _Georgi level was not a level anyone wanted to reach._

And despite Yuuri's constant efforts to tell himself that _no_ , he was not in love with Victor, _yes_ , it's just a small crush, and _yes_ , Victor probably had a boyfriend (Yuuri's soul died at that thought.) _His mind just wouldn't quit!_

Sighing, Yuuri flopped down onto the couch into his apartment, and flipped to a random channel where an animated movie was playing.

' _No chance no way ,I won't say it, no no_

 _(You swoon you sigh why deny it oh oh)_

 _It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in love'_

The TV quickly went off.

Okay, so clearly, the universe _hated_ Yuuri.

Just at that moment Phichit popped his head around the door, and grinned.

"Yuuri! Just the man I wanted to see!"

"You see me every day." Yuuri muttered, snuggling further into the pillows and blankets.

"And isn't that fantastic! Come ooooooooon! We need to open up!"

Actually, Yuuri was debating just staying here for the rest of the day/month/lifetime.

The pillows were safe.

The pillows were comfortable.

Yuuri didn't have an unnecessarily large crush on the pillows.

 _Whump._

The pillow was gone.

Yuuri felt a strange sense of sadness at it's absence.

"YUURI." Phichit was now looming over him, probably trying to look intimidating.

However, the image was slightly ruined by a hamster squeaking on top of Phichit's head.

"You don't want to miss Victor, do you?"

"Look, Phichit." Yuuri sighed, sitting upright, and hugging his knees to his chest " I can't do it. I…. just…"

"Hey." Phichit was suddenly next to him, rubbing soothing circles in his back "Calm down. Victor likes you too, you know."

Yuuri shook his head, calming down.

"No. A guy like Victor….is too good for me. He'll never like me back, so just…. stop. I'm er, going to open up the shop."

And with that, Yuuri was gone, running down the apartment stairs two at a time.

Phichit sighed, slowly following after him. Victor better make his move soon, or Yuuri might die of asphyxiation.

Yuuri sat in the back room, re-potting every plant in sight, making sure the pots shone, and the flowers were perfect.

All the customers that entered were greeted with an over-enthusiastic smile, and Yuuri practically going Sonic around the store, pointing out every plant they had in stock.

Nervous energy? Never heard of it.

Five of the customers even crept over to Phichit, who was hiding behind the desk, and sympathetically asked him if Yuuri was acting like this because of Victor.

Soon enough, Phichit gently pulled the lilies that Yuuri was repotting out of his hands, and told him to 'go sit behind the desk and calm down for a while.'

Once relocated on a stool behind the desk, Phichit served the customers, while Yuuri just put the money into the cash register. It was calming, and soon enough, Yuuri was his usual self again.

Of course, that all quickly changed when Victor entered the store with an over-dramatic _'YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIII!'_

"Hello, Victor." Yuuri smiled, and tried to pretend his cheeks hadn't just become the shade of the poppies over in the corner.

Victor leaned onto the counter, and smiled.

"You have pretty eyes."

Yuuri blinked.

His cheeks, if possible, grew an even darker shade of red. Any more, and anyone would mistake Yuuri for a tomato.

Wait, too long had gone by, Yuuri needed to respond to his compliment, say something, _anything._

"You have a very pretty….face."

Not that.

Why couldn't Yuuri ever do _anything_ right?

But for some reason, Victor's face took on a pinkish hue, and he spluttered

"Ah..um..thanks.."

Yuuri had messed up. Victor probably hated him now.

"So…ah…" Yuuri tried to change the subject. "Which plant do you want today?"

Victor seemed to snap out of whatever deep thinking he was in, and glanced around the store, pointing at a random pot.

"That one."

"An Areca Palm." Yuuri said, carefully lifting the plant off the shelf "It purifies the air, and thrives well indoors."

Yuuri set it down on the table, as a thought struck him.

"Hey, Victor?"

"Yes, Yuuri?" Victor said eagerly, leaning over the desk.

"Why do you keep buying plants? I mean, you can't possibly fit them all in your house." Yuuri paused "Why do you keep coming?"

In Yuuri's fantasies, the ones that Yuuri tried and failed not to have, Victor would scratch the back of his neck,, and say 'Actually… I've only been coming here to see you, Yuuri', and then they'd kiss, and adopt a million dogs.

However, the reality was different.

Instead, Victor's eyes flicked around the room.

"I..ah..keep buying them because…"

Victor's gaze landed on an old, dead rose in the trash.

"Because.. they, ah, all keep dying! I forget to water them you see..ahahahaha…."

Then Victor shoved the money into Yuuri's hand and raced off out of the door, clutching the Areca Palm close to his chest.

Leaving Yuuri behind the desk with a heavy heart.

"I think he lied." Phichit mused, suddenly appearing behind Yuuri, making Yuuri shriek, and barely catch the loose change he dropped.

"Definitely, he reminds me of myself when I was trying to woo Anya…" A sad melancholy voice came from the doorway.

This time Yuuri really _did_ drop all the change.

" _Georgi?_ When did you get here?"

"I was there for the whole conversation. I would've interrupted but…" Georgi sighed and clutched his chest "Nobody can stop young love."

Yuuri just stared at him blankly, while Phichit sniggered in the background.

"Do you not understand what love is?" Georgi asked. Then he brightened "Perhaps another rendition of 'Agony' will prove it to you!"

It took Yuuri until Georgi had grabbed the plant shears before what he had said registered.

Yuuri ran towards him.

"Georgi, no, NO!"

Well that was one way to distract Yuuri from his non-existent love life.

"I love Yuuri so much!" Victor swooned into the phone.

There was no answer, except a large crash.

"Chris?" Victor asked, sitting upright "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Chris panted on the other side of the line "When I opened the door to my Plant Room, _which used to be my living room VICTOR,_ to put in the Areca Palm, all bunch of the other plants fell out, so al their pots cracked. Now I'm trying to get the door closed again."

"Oh." Victor blinked. Then disregarding it completey, he said "Chris, you'll never guess what! Yuuri called my face _pretty_ today! He thinks I'm pretty!"

But the only answer was the sound of the line going dead.

 **Bonus points if you can tell me the movie Yuuri was watching at the start.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Fifth chapter up! (I really need to update Prince Of the Waves. Oh well). Only the +1 to go after this! Yurio makes an appearance on this chapter. Comments are appreciated!-Purecinnamonbun**

 **5**

"Here you are Yura." Yuuri smiled as he handed Yuri his catnip, which the blond teen snatched, before dropping a couple of bills on the table, muttering that Yuuri could keep the change.

The first time Yurio had come to the store, he had been horrified by the fact that he and Yuuri shared the same name, and stomped out as soon as he'd paid. But the next week, he'd come back in, muttering about how Yuuri's plants always lived longer.

Since then, Yurio had become a regular patron of the store, often staying to chat to Yuuri about different types of plants for cats, and whatever else was going on in his life. On really busy days, Yurio would also often stay to help out in the back, because he 'Just had some spare time'.

That was basically code for 'I don't want you to know I care.'

Phichit affectionately nicknamed him 'The Ice Kitten' behind his back.

"Hey, Katsudon." Yurio snapped Yuuri out of his reverie, making him glance up.

"You got any plants that mean friendship?" Yurio was blushing now "Really strong friendship?"

"Got a new friend, Yurio?" Yuuri laughed, while walking out from the counter.

"Yes-no-I think so? His… his name's Otabek." Yurio's blush grew stronger, while Yuuri stared at him in amazement.

"You have a crush on him don't you?! I never thought I'd see the day when you actually _liked_ a human being! Someone who isn't a cat!"

"Sh-shut up, Katsudon. So what if I do? I mean, not that I do but…look, just DON'T tell anyone, okay? I'd die if he found out."

"Your secret's safe with me, Yura." Yuuri tapped the side of his nose, smiling "So, why are you getting him flowers if you aren't going to confess?"

"He got ME a flower when we first started being friends. It was a lavender rose."

Yuuri stopped rifling through the shelves.

"Does Otabek know the language of flowers?"

"Huh? Yeah. His mom taught him when he was little."

 _Lavender rose- love at first sight_

Maybe it was time to speed up the process for Yurio. It would be okay if he meddled a _little_ bit, right?

Yuuri carefully selected a pot of red tulips, and handed them to Yurio.

"Here."

"Thanks." Yurio rooted around in his pockets "How much do I owe you?"

"It's free." Yuuri waved him off.

After a few more minutes of chatter, Yurio left the shop, and Yuuri hoped and prayed that Yurio would forgive him for not giving him a flower that meant _friendship_ exactly…..

 _Red tulip- declaration of love_

Those two better be dating by the time Yurio next came back to the store.

Or Yuuri would have to wear a fake moustache and move to Mexico, hoping he wouldn't be hunted down by rabid cats.

Shuddering slightly, he returned to his desk. Yurio's love drama had managed to distract him from Yuuri's own problems. Victor was only returning to the store because his plants kept dying. Meaning he didn't want to keep coming back. Sighing, Yuuri looked at the plant he had prepared under the counter. No matter what Yuuri's….feelings were, he couldn't keep forcing Victor to come back to the shop. All he needed was a plant that couldn't die, right? Victor was way out of Yuuri's league. He had already pre-called Phichit to have the Ben and Jerry's ready for when Victor never came back.

As if on cue, the door swung open, revealing Victor's smiling face.

"Yuuri! I missed you!"

Yuuri's heart panged, but he kept a polite smile pasted on his face.

"You saw me yesterday."

Victor stopped short, peering closely.

"Yuuri…are you okay?"

How did Victor see through Yuuri? He could even trick _Phichit_ into thinking he was fine.

"Yeah. I-I'm fine."

Then Yuuri was being hugged, and Victor was telling him softly

"You don't have to tell me, Yuuri. It's none of my business. Just know I'm here for you, okay?"

Stay calm.

Stay calm.

Victor didn't want to be here.

Yuuri should make him feel less obligated to be.

"Yeah." Yuuri muttered, pulling back "It's really none of your business."

The heartbroken look on Victor's face made Yuuri backtrack fast.

"J-just kidding! I'm practicing sad expressions for a…play? A play I'm in."

Victor didn't look entirely convinced, but he seemed to let it slide.

"Is there a plant for me?"

At this point Victor had pretty much wiped out the entire store. Yuuri wouldn't be surprised if half of their income came from Victor.

"Here." Yuuri leaned under the desk, and pulled out the plant he put there. "This is a cactus. It requires very little water, or taking care of, so it probably won't die. So you won't need to keep coming back here?"

"Huh?" Victor seemed to think for a second "Ah! Yes, the dying plants! No other reason why I keep coming here, haha… How much?"

"It's free." Yuuri smiled at Victor. Phichit would understand why he kept giving away free plants. He wasn't afraid at all. Nope.

"Thanks!" Yuuri was pulled close in a hug again, and froze as he felt Victor nuzzling his neck.

And then Victor was walking away, on his phone.

Yuuri was sure he just imagined that he saw Victor Google 'Would a plant seller believe a cactus could spontaneously combust?'

But he was instantly distracted by a familiar voice, getting closer and closer, screaming "KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN"

Maybe Mexico wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Victor re-rang the number for the twentieth time, smiling brightly when it connected.

A screech of pain was the first thing Chris said when he picked up.

"Yes" Victor told him seriously "Yuuri was upset about something today. Chriiiiiis! Yuuri can't be upset about anything! He has to be protected! He even gave me a cactus!"

"Yes. I know." Chris said drily "I just accidentally sat on it."

The line went dead, and Victor sighed despairingly.

Chris was such a _drama queen._

 **I kinda feel sorry about torturing Chris like this. Oh well. I have more plans….**


	6. Chapter 6

**Final chapter! Whooo! I wrote this while coming down with a cold (which I am unfortunately still suffering through), so forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes. Comments are appreciated-Purecinnamonbun**

"I'm in love with Victor." Yuuri told Phichit seriously, gazing off into the distance, and drumming his fingers on the counter.

Phichit meticulously snipped a dead flower off a plant, dropping it into the bag by his feet before answering wisely

"Well duh, obviously"

" _THOSE ARE YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM?"_ Yuuri glared at Phichit.

"What did you _want_ me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe something like 'Yuuri, you'll be fine.' or 'Yuuri, it's just a phase you're going through.'"

"Dude, you've known that you were gay ever since third grade."

Yuuri thunked his head onto the table.

"Not helping."

Phichit sighed, and placed his plant clippers on a shelf before laying a hand on Yuuri's shoulder.

"Yuuri, this isn't a phase that is 'going to pass'. If I thought that about Seung Gil, I would've given up, and we wouldn't be dating. And trust me, he was a _very_ hard nut to crack. You even helped me practice my 'Do you want to date me?' speech! And I can assure you on pain of death that Victor likes you too, okay? Stop putting yourself down so much."

"Now _those_ are words of wisdom" Yuuri laughed slightly.

"I agree with Hamster Boy."

Yuuri jumped, hearing a new voice enter the conversation. The plant pot he was holding dropped to the ground and smashed in his surprise.

Yurio was standing at the door, bathed in noon sunlight, his signature sneer broken with a smile. A taller, darker boy stood next to him, his arm around Yurio. Yuuri guessed that was Otabek.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be together with Otabek," Yurio's nose wrinkled a bit "Even if you gave me a sappy flower."

"It was cute." Otabek leaned forwards and kissed Yurio's nose.

Yurio blushed. "It…was true."

Yuuri smiled at the couple as they stood, lost in their own world. Only to jump again as a new voice spoke up

"I give my agreement too."

There went another plant.

Yuuri stared at it mournfully, before turning and addressing the customer.

"Hello, Georgi. Do you want me to get out the plant shears?"

Georgi clasped his heart.

"I have no need of them today. Because of your kind words, I have banished Anya to the past, where she belongs. I have begun another new chapter."

Georgi had another soon-to-be-ex then.

Yuuri was so _alone._

"Yuuri." Phichit stepped forwards "You've done so much for us. For once so what _you_ want, and go after Victor."

Yuuri's smile was watery.

"Victor won't come back, Phichit. I gave him a plant that wouldn't die. He has no reason to keep coming here."

"I beg to differ."

Yuuri stared, dumbstruck, at the shock of brilliant silver hair that was making its way past the shop window.

"Quickly," Phichit hissed, shoving Yurio, Otabek, and Georgi forwards "Out of the back door! We need to give them their privacy!"

The door to the backroom swung shut, just as the door to the shop tentatively opened, revealing Victor in all his glory, seeming to hold something behind his back.

Yuuri blinked.

Then rubbed his eyes.

Then concluded that Victor was not a mirage.

"V-Victor!" Yuuri tried to smile "H-how's your cactus?"

"The cactus? Ah, funny story, it spontaneously combusted. Moving on-"

"It _what!?"_

"-Not important. That's not why I'm here today."

Yuuri chuckled slightly.

"Victor, I think you've bought every plant that the store has to offer."

"Then how about one that the store _doesn't_ offer?"

"What?"

Victor carefully brought something out from behind his back, setting the pot down on the table quietly.

It was a heliotrope.

A heliotrope.

A small, reckless hope began to grow in Yuuri's stomach, despite how ill-fated it might be.

"Do you know what it means?"

The hope died as abruptly as it appeared.

Of course.

Victor just wanted to know what it meant.

He probably couldn't find anyone else who spoke the language of flowers.

"T-the heliotrope?" Yuuri brushed one of the petals delicately with his finger, trying to lock his feelings away, where they wouldn't interfere with Victor's happiness.

"It means eternal love."

"Exactly!" Victor yelled eagerly, grabbing Yuuri's hands and pulling him close. "So?"

"Whoever you're giving it to must be pretty special." Yuuri murmured, pulling away "I have some work I need to do in the backroom, so-"

"Yuuri, will you just _listen?"_

"What?" Yuuri looked back, and was instantly floored by the sheer emotion swimming in Victor's eyes.

"They're for _YOU!"_ Victor paused slightly, reaching out, and pulling Yuuri closer, until their lips were a centimetre apart. "Will you accept them?"

Somehow, Yuuri's worries and fears disappeared, with those few words.

Somehow, he was able to look Victor in the eye, and murmur a confident

"Yes."

And then their lips met.

They surged back to each other a second, a third, a fourth time.

They probably would have stayed there forever, if the door to the backroom hadn't banged open, and Phichit announced

"NO MAKING OUT ON THE COUNTER! IT HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THE PLANTS!"

Both Yuuri and Victor ended up laughing, before coming back together for one more chaste kiss.

"Hey, Yuuri." Phichit was frowning, and leaning out of the door "Is someone moving into the apartment next to ours?"

"I don't _think_ so?"

Yuuri and Victor made their way to the door as well. A huge moving truck was parked just outside, the back of the truck still closed tight.

"Y'know," Victor was frowning as well "It looks kinda like the truck my friend owns-"

The door to the truck flew open, and out stepped a blond haired, well dressed, Swiss man.

"Chris!" Victor waved energetically "Hi!"

Instead of acknowledging Victor's greeting, Chris stood there with a stone cold stare. And then he spoke.

"For too long I have been subjected to the tyranny of your plants!"

"What's going on?" Yuuri asked Victor, who looked mystified.

"Well I say NO MORE!" Chris yelled.

Yuuri would _really_ like to know why an angry Swiss man was standing on his doorstep with a moving van.

Said Swiss man brandished a small remote.

"With one push, I release my problems ONTO YOU!"

And with that, Chris slammed his hand down on the button, making the back of the truck open. Hundreds of plants tumbled out- Orchids, poppies, snowdrops, roses, saplings, and more, all of their pots smashing on the concrete, even spreading onto the road.

Yuuri, Phichit, and Victor all looked on in horror.

"And finally." Chris was smiling now, seeming like he had reached inner peace "I'm going to enjoy this."

Chris produced a plant of tall green stalks, holding it high above his head.

Then he brought it down to the ground, where it smashed into smithereens, screaming "DEATH TO THE ASPARAGUS!" all the while.

"The lucky bamboo!" Yuuri mourned.

"The ASPARAGUS!" Victor lamented.

Chris, acting like he hadn't done anything, waved a hand and hopped back into his truck before disappearing off into the distance, leaving a twenty meter wide mess of plants, soil, and smashed flower pots in his wake.

Resolve formed abruptly in Victor's eyes, and he grabbed Yuuri's hands.

"Quick! If we run fast enough, we can make Phichit clean it up!"

Yuuri grinned, his heart swelling, and gave his assent.

A moment later, they were racing away, leaving Phichit alone, screaming about traitors, and looking fumingly at the mess.

On and on they ran, until Victor eventually tripped, pulling Yuuri down with him.

They landed in a tangle of limbs and kisses.

Five years later, Phichit made the crowd at Yuuri and Victor's wedding erupt in laughter as he told them about what was referred to as 'The Asparagus Incident' as his best man speech.

 **...I may have taken too much artistic license with Chris.**

 **BUT YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, DID YOU?!**


End file.
